Wednesday, May 18, 2011
I Do: This is where you should kick the ball (show them)
We do: Let's kick the ball to our partners (do together)
You do: Kick the ball (on their own)
Imagine that for everything, and after a day of teaching, it drives me mad. It drives me mad because I assumed that 11-13 year olds knew the fundamentals of soccer (I know I should not assume- but it happened). It drives me mad because these 11-13 year olds who don't know the basics then give me attitude when I try to teach them the basics.
But, bless their hearts some of them do try.
Me: Move up Lisa! (Lisa runs up)
Me: Move back Lisa! (Lisa runs back)
This happens throughout the whole game. Afterwards, Lisa comes up to me and asks,
"Why did you keep telling me to move up and back? I was confused the whole time."
Pause. Deep breath.
" The ball kept moving up and back; the ball moves up the field and back down the field; therefore, you have to keep moving up and back."
Rachel: "The girl pushed me!"
Me: "It's a contact sport; push her back"
Rachel: "I don't want to touch her; she might have something!"
Me: "Why are you guys walking?"
Vanessa: "I don't like to run."
Me: "Well, you picked the wrong sport don't you think?!?!"
(Most of the time)
Monday, May 9, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
From across the room, I immediately say, "Moses, did you just say something you're not supposed to say?"
Moses replies, "Nope--it wasn't me."
"Are you lying to me, Moses?" I asked.
"Yes." Moses says confidently, and then he corrects himself, "I mean, No- I'm not lying."
But, it's too late, the class is erupting in laughter, and Moses is turning bright red (again). He's quiet until the class is getting ready to leave for the weekend. A couple of students decide to show me the Mother's Day card they had made in homeroom. I tell them they're are nice, but not as nice as the ones my homeroom made. I notice Moses' feelings were a bit hurt, so I tell him I didn't mean what I said.
Moses looks at me and says, "Yeah, uh huh- NOTTTT" as he walks out of class with a sheepish smile.
He's the type of student we all should have: clever, animated, and worth teaching. Here's to more Moses Moments!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
I yell, "Tell me how you really feel next time, Moses!" as he walks out the door with his head drooping. "Please don't tell my mom," he cries back.
Although it was probably unintentional, it's pretty ridiculous what students do on a regular basis. Great way to end a school day!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
At first, he came in loud and rocking back and forth. Then, he wouldn't stop talking and walking around the classroom. All these behavior are not typical of medicated Bobby; he's usually calm and composed, quiet and on task. After a couple of redirections, I call him to the front of the room, so that he can be my partner for the rest of the class period. He sits down right next to me and is playing with his orange stress ball, squeezing it rapidly. Next thing I see, he is rolling on the floor. UNBELIEVABLE. Everyone is laughing. He finally gets back into his seat. He looks at me and asks, "Do you want an orange?" as he shows me his stress ball. I say, "No thank you- get back to work please." He then puts the orange stress ball to his ear and says to the ball, "Hello Mister Orange! How are you?"
Friday, April 8, 2011
I have NEVER ever seen something so IDIOTIC in my entire life. Who in the world runs into a stampede of any kind? Let alone, 6th grade boys trying to impress every and anyone. I guess she's not the smartest of the bunch.
Monday, March 21, 2011
(THOUGHTS TO MYSELF: where in the world did you get this? why in the world do you have this? what did you do with it? where it is? who do i call for these sort of things? It's only 10:00 am, and I still have two more sections to go. Is it 3:00 yet!?!?)
As the rest of the class is getting ready to leave (mass chaos...some of the students are heading to PE, others are heading to math), Chris is trying to slip our of my sight. Students are yelling bye and dropping off their work as they're rushing out the door. "Have a safe weekend," I manage to say. Chris is now slumped in his chair, looking at the ground. Once everyone has left, I walk over to the student while rubbing hand sanitizer over and over again.
Me: "Where did you get this?"
Chris: "It's not mine. It's my cousins. He placed it there last night, I mean Thursday, I mean Friday."
Me: "Ok...so why didn't you throw it away?"
Chris: "Uh-I forgot it was in there..."
Me: "Really? How is that possible? It was in your pocket. An empty condom wrapper was in your pocket and you forgot about it? I find that hard to believe."
Chris (shrugging his shoulders): "Am I in trouble?"
Me: "I'm concerned. I'm concerned that you had this on you, and I'm concerned that you went to the bathroom for 10 minutes. So, I'm going to take this to the office, and I'm going to call you're Dad. If they want to talk to you, they'll let you know."
As I'm holding open the door, Chris walks out towards the field. I watch him and head back inside my classroom. Moments later, I check back on him, and there is Chris running towards the fence. I swing open the door and yell, "Christopher ____________ you get over here right now! Where do you think you're going?"
We walk to the office, and of course, no one was there. I wrap the condom wrapper in a piece of paper and wrote a sticky note on it that read: Hi, Chris was playing with this in class. His story seems unreliable. Call my room. I left Chris and the "present" with the secretary.
Later that day, I run into my principal, who is practically laughing at me. She says, "At least you know never to ask for anything in your hand!" Thanks...
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Today, one of my favorite students decided that class was way too boring, so he took out money (actual dollar bills) and started playing on his desk. A moment later, out of the corner of my eye, I see him rolling on the ground and throwing his money in the air as he is yelling “I’m bathing in money!” Upon seeing this, I rush to him and I say, "(insert a name of a funny childhood friend here), I need you to get up off the floor and sit back in your seat quietly.” I say it to him quietly because he doesn't do well with "harsh tones" as his mother has informed me. He continues to yell and roll as the entire class is now looking at him, thinking is this really happening. Oh, it was…when I tell him again, he took the liberty of packing up his stuff and walking out of my class.
Now, you may be thinking this teacher clearing does not know how to control her students…on the contrary, this student is, in fact, so awesome that he requires an adult to be with him every where he goes…science, social students, math, english, p.e, recess, and lunch. So, after you’ve gotten over the initial shock of what took place in class today, know that this is actually a common occurrence, and it now just a matter to laugh at.
I should also probably tell you that this is the same student who decided he didn’t want to be at school one particular day, so he ran out the back door and hopped the fence. Honestly, I had never seen a child run so fast in my life. I clearly didn’t see him for the rest of the day. The cops and his mother were notified; apparently, he likes running. The next day he did come up to me and apologize for his behavior and said it wouldn’t happen again. When I asked him where he went, he looked at me like I was an idiot and said, “I went to the park, duh.” I thought to myself how in the world was I supposed to know you went to the park? I didn't bother asking anymore questions. From that moment on, I knew it was going to be a roller coaster of a year, and so far it’s proving to be that and so much more.
Welcome to my classroom, where incredibly hilarious things happen to awkward middle schoolers and their teacher. -RAWR